FCC

(with thanks to Chris W)

It seems that the chemical engineers are unduly fond of soup, especially tomato soup. It’s an unusually common food to see at casual gatherings, study sessions, etc.

One day, several of us were studying some reaction engineering at someone’s house. Like many, I like to have a little “crunch” with my soup, so I asked if they had some saltines. They did not; instead, they had some weird cross between cheese and animal crackers. They all looked oddly feline.

I tried one, and decided it would be good enough. I took a few more and put them in my soup.

They became fluidized cat crackers.

2010 – resolutions

I have noticed, lately, that several people have made notes in the style of “New Year’s Resolutions.” I might be a bit cynical about these in general (the “beginning” of the new year is, after all, an arbitrarily decided time), but I’ll go ahead and make a couple as well.

1. Try not to be incredibly dumb.
2. Don’t take everything incredibly seriously

I guess that covers it.

I’ll see you guys around. (I’m going to spend the last few days of break being incredibly hermit-y, which doesn’t really affect most of you anyway, but, yeah.)

“Happy Holidays” vs “Merry Christmas”

If I were an atheist, I’d be about as offended when being wished “happy holidays” as I would being told to have a “Merry Christmas.” I would also never tell someone “goodbye,” (at least not with that specific word).

Why?

Because of the history (of those words [in our {the English} language]).

Please bear with me for a moment as I begin to explain.

Starting point: what is offensive about “Merry Christmas?” I’m fairly sure nobody (or no significant group of sane body’s) has anything against the word “Merry,” or its use in this context. By process of elimination, “Christmas” must be the culprit. Why? Umm… it’s all religious and stuff. It is a (in my opinion, the second-most) important holiday specific to Christianity. Original meaning: “Christ’s Mass” – obviously a rather religiousy thing. So, ok, I could understand non-Christians not being so happy about their Christian friends wishing them a “Merry Christmas” – from this perspective, it seems kind of insensitive, right?

I’m still not telling anything you don’t already know. I’m getting there, please bear with me.

The point of being PC is to avoid offending as many people as possible – or, perhaps, to speak in a way that attempts to offend nobody (this invariably fails, by the way, but that’s a subject for another day). “Merry Christmas” potentially offends every non-Christian to which it is said – which could be a sizable group of peoples. That, I believe, is why in more recent years “Happy Holidays” has been adopted as the December-time greeting of choice by many Americans. It’s more PC than “Merry Christmas,” but as I began, not quite enough.

Because “holiday” isn’t an entirely PC word either.

Language is an interesting thing, especially to me as an engineer. I look at it, see how it works, try to figure out how it got the way it did. Most words that you speak today weren’t first spoken exactly as they were now. There’s a fairly wide and surprisingly well-defined set of mechanisms that operate on words, building them, eroding them, twisting them. Did you know that most of Shakespeare rhymed? Virtually all of The Canterbury Tales did as well? Both in the “same language” as you’re reading this in?

Anyway, you don’t need an extensive background in linguistics to guess the history of the words “Christmas” and “Holiday” (though I have some credentials: one intro to Linguistics class, one History of English class, and Google/Wikipedia searches on both of the words). As stated above, Christmas comes from “Christ’s Mass,” which I would assume refers to a gathering of Christians to worship (“mass”) to celebrate Jesus, probably his birth (“Christ”) (the argument of when Jesus was actually born is beyond the scope of this writing, but something I encourage you to look up outside of class; basically, early Christians were pretty good at marketing). “Holiday” – hmm. I recognize “day.” So, that leaves “holi.” What could tha – oh right, “holy.” “Holy day.”

Hmm. “Holy day” – a day (please don’t make me explain what a day is) of religious significance.

So! My point at last. To an atheist (where here I use the common Western definition of atheism as “essentially, totally nonreligious” – arguments about this definition are, again, beyond the scope of this writing, but of possible interest to you), being wished “happy days of religious significance” isn’t all that much better than being wished a “Merry Christ’s Mass.” It’s a little bit less narrow, but still…

I anticipate some disagreement (and, in fact, have counter-counter arguments to some of them already prepared). The definition I use of “holiday” is, yes, only one of several definitions, and my morphological decomposition of the word goes back nearly to Old (pre-1066 A.D.) English. I have at least a partial counter to such arguments. Firstly, my definition of “Christmas” goes back just as far (effectively canceling out the “archaic definition” portion of my own counter-arguments). Secondly, I am much of the opinion that, good or bad, Christmas in America is not a celebration of the birth of anyone, let alone Jesus. Rather, it is a celebration of American culture. Melting pot, rampant capitalism and consumerism, sometimes even giving back. White lies told to children. Candy. Electric lights! Snow, shoveling. Family, food.

Ok, if you accept that argument (you’re certainly entitled to disagree, and I most certainly don’t claim that this holds true for everyone – just my perception of the culture as a whole), then I’ve now negated the “archaic definition” and “Christianity-specific” counter-arguments, but possibly raised a new one: the holiday being America-centric. I have no counter for that one, but I do not feel one should be necessary. Most people I interact with are from America, thus shouldn’t find a meant-as-positive reference to their own culture as offensive; the others, well, we’re taught to respect their cultures and accept their good wishes in whichever form they choose to give them; extending the same courtesy in the other direction is entirely reasonable.

I’m going to stop now, before I launch into my anti-PC rant. You now know I have one, and the fact that you know of its existence conveys pretty much all of the information I would wish to convey by the rant itself.

But wait! What about “goodbye”?

Ok! back to the morphology! “Goodbye” looks like it’s made from “good” and “bye.” We know what “good” means, but what about “bye”? Usually by itself it means – uh – short for “goodbye” – hmm that doesn’t work. And I’m pretty sure the Old English speakers weren’t setting up tournaments so often that they’d wish each other “good week off” often enough….

I had to look this one up, but it’s something that struck me as amusing when I first learned of it. In Middle English, it was “godbwye.” According to reference.com, as late as 1575 people knew that it was a contraction of “God be wy ye,” (or “God be with you,” as it is said today). This will sound rather familiar to some of you, and certainly not from secular life…

If my opinion on the whole thing is not obvious from the content and tone of the above article, I will state it here for clarity. I don’t particularly care. It’s a waste of time to avoid it. It’s a waste of energy to get upset over it, and it makes you look kind of immature/self-centered/like a whiny b–… ok. That’s the PC rant again, trying to not go there. Anyway, my opinion of Christmas as more of a cultural than a spiritual holiday also has something to do with it.

With that, I say… everybody (who is in school) have a good break, enjoy any celebrations you celebrate (don’t forget: my birthday is the 27th), and, umm… see you later.

References

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holiday

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=holiday

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas#Etymology

http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O27-holiday.html

Barber, Charles. The English Language: A Historical Introduction

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/goodbye

http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O27-goodbye.html

Some lists of planned things

Things I plan to do soon:

• Survive finals!
• Completely drain my IIT printing accounts.
• Figure out exactly what I’m doing over break
• Maybe start being less antisocial, or at least slow down the trend

Things I’d probably like to do over break:

• Turn 22
• Celebrate it by going to the Field Museum with you (if you’re in Chicago or The Region)
• Anything left undone from the first list
• Work on more music:
  • Generally becoming better at guitar
  • More funny/engineering songs?
  • Finish at least 1 piece for piano or concert band
• Rebuild my website and migrate it to its new, probably temporary, home (since OTS decided I have to).
• Waste time
• Some blogging?
• Do something at least semiproductive
• Hide in my room
• Not spend the whole break hiding in my room – perhaps even go places to do things with people once. Or twice.

Finally, things I’d like to do before graduation:

• Find a job
• Travel on every CTA train line (I still have to do the Yellow, Pink, and maybe Orange lines, so let me know if you want to make a trip to Skokie)
• Not go entirely insane
• Anything else you suggest that sounds good
• Figure out life, or at least mine
• More blogging?

And now I’ll go back to wasting away a weekend. Happy IPRO Day to all, and to all, a good Finals Week.

Constitutional Cats

It is my opinion that we (as in, “the US Federal Government”) are wasting our time and money. Here we are, worrying about healthcare, and the economy, and global warming. I say, there is a more important issue which is immediately at hand. And that issue is cats.

Please bare with me.

Amendment 13 of the U.S. Constitution was ratified on December 6, 1865. The first article states: “Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.” Now, I make the claim that cat ownership is virtual if not literal slavery.

Have you ever “owned” a cat? Or, at least, been good friends with someone else who has? If so, then you will likely agree with me that it often seems that you do not “own” a cat; rather, the cat owns you. Humans give them food, clean up after them, and let them in and out whenever they want. When they want companionship, they have it; when they want solitude, they have it. It does not work the other way, either; sometime, try holding a cat that would rather be outside chasing squirrels, and you’ll know what I mean.

The second article of the aforementioned amendment is: “Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.” Why have they not done so already? Thousands, if not millions, of people out there are slaving away for their cats. This is clearly an easily-prevented problem, and frankly I am shocked that our society can have “advanced” so far without ever properly addressing the issues.

Thank you for your time. Please bring this issue to the attention of your senators and representative, or even Mr. Obama himself if you can manage it.

Replies mentioning that cat ownership is voluntary can be sent to nleepspam@gmail.com, where they will be dealt with appropriately.

updates – hello again, world

Hi everyone.

I was thinking about making a blog post where I complain about things, and talk about how stupid things are, and then everyone feels bad, but then I didn’t. Nobody really cares, and nobody really likes them that much either, and I don’t have time to spend on it anyway. However, my next entry in the “pet peeves” series does have a subject, and I’ll post it as soon as I make it, and make it as non-whiny, ridiculous-but-serious as I can.

That being said, I’ll try to have something funny soon, and maybe something musical (musical stuff will be at http://a2020vision.bandcamp.com/ rather than directly here, of course – though I guess I should experiment with embedding sooner or later). Also, as soon as I get “free time,” my real website will get updated again (since it’s nearly a year out-of-date now).

I’m going to Nashville this weekend. I’m really hoping I survive, and remain relatively sane, but it’s really more questionable than you might think. But, whatever.

Anyway, I’ll see you later I guess; even though I’m from the Internet, I have to sleep once in a while… please enjoy the following aminated film until then.

...

Intro to C Programming for those who are Fed Up With It All

#include <stdio.h>

int main(void)
{
      printf("Hell, world...\n");
      return 0;
}

//sorry.

It was actually kind of comfy…

My friends’ apartment originally came with a sofa and a similarly-constructed (as in, identical, except room for 1 person instead of 3) chair. I used to go up there and hang out an average of twice a week, and they were good places for sitting.

One day I went up there to find a third piece of furniture! It looked like the other two, but it was midway in size between them. I asked about it, and they said “the couch and the chair had a kid.”

I promptly named it the “love-child love seat,” and the name stuck.

algebra I…

[grr + rawr][drat + carp] = (x + 7)(2x + 3) = 2x2 + 17x + 21

“Curses, foiled again.”

My “retirement plan”

Earlier today I overheard (as in “was sitting between two people having”) a conversation about their futures. Specifically, how they were both going to become “Crazy Dog Ladies” (as in, like “Crazy Cat Ladies” except they both like dogs better than cats, and if you don’t know what a Crazy Cat Lady is, I suggest you watch some more The Simpsons), and possibly live on the same block and creep people out together. This, along with a comment from one of my former professors earlier this week (to the effect of “you’ll be as busy as you are now until you retire”) caused me to consider my own retirement plans, since I expect my situation to be similar but not identical.

Unfortunately, becoming a Crazy Cat Lady isn’t really an option that’s open to me. I like cats well enough, and I’m fairly sure I’ll be quite crazy by the time I retire, but there’s the whole thing where I have an unmatched 23rd chromosome pair (e.g. one X and one Y, as opposed to two X’s) and refuse to get that changed in any way, genotypically or phenotypically. Fortunately, I have another, much better option, which doesn’t necessarily involve any kind of fuzzy animals that grow up with you and you get all attached to and then they die.

I’m going to be a “mad scientist.” And composer.

As a chemical engineer, I naturally will have all the knowledge I need to set up my own lab. Of pretty much any type. I’m already a composer, so that’s no issue either. Since I’ll likely be a lifelong bachelor, I don’t have to worry about anyone else prohibiting this, and causing the kinds of problems that make such a choice difficult. Likewise, if I eventually get an awesome job and don’t have other people to spend cash on, I’ll probably save it up so I can do all the awesome stuff I’m about to list.

Since I’m never content unless I’m busy with something, I’ll have plenty of time to do all the awesome stuff I’m about to list too.

I will need a house with a bunch of land. I am very used to living near large bodies of fresh water, but I want somewhere rather secluded too. Maybe somewhere in lower Michigan. I’ll have a lot of surrounding land, on which will grow a forest with a single path leading to my manor. Since this is many years in the future, I fully expect Star Wars Episode VI – style “speeder bikes” to be available, so I’ll have a couple of those. And a canoe, and such. I’ll need a larger vehicle for going extended distances, but I’ll figure that one out later.

Power will be generated by my own wind turbines, solar turbines, fuel cells, what have you. Fuel… I will create a unit that can take grass, and convert it to biofuel (this is, in fact, something I’ve considered doing as part of a career, so by the time I retire I’ll certainly have it done, right?). Heating and cooling will be done by a geothermal heat pump (“geothermal” meaning “ground-heat” rather than “magma-heat”).

And I’ll likely need a lot of power. You see, I’m going to have a rather modern house, with computers and electric appliances and all that good sh…stuff. I’m thinking a two-story house, possibly rather dreary-looking. You know, the kind you expect some crazy, rich old wizard to live in. There will be a small (probably narrow-gauge), likely electrical-powered railroad servicing various parts of the estate, as well. So, already, there’s a lot that uses up that home-generated power…

Not to mention my traditional basement laboratory.

That’s “laboratory” pronounce “lah-bore-a-torry,” of course. Bare concrete floors, concrete walls with steel supporting stuffs, high ceiling, long winding staircase next to dramatically oversized electrical switches, constantly-running chemical experiments involving phosphorescent and bubbling fluids on a central table, and lots of unidentifiable electronic stuff constantly giving off sparks. One entire wall will be a computer, complete with many incomprehensible lights and dials (most of which won’t have any meaning, but will look rather cool). One computer terminal at which to do my music composing, as well.

So what we have so far is one wall with a computer, central chemical and electrical experiment areas, and one wall taken up by the stairs and electrical switches. I still have two walls and some floorspace to work with, hmm?

So one wall will have a pipe organ. And synthesizer. There will be a central console, from which I can control multiple synthesizers and the pipe organ (through, of course, a computer running a specially-built version of Linux, kernel 3.5.3 + 7i). And a theramin. This way, I can play dramatic pipe-organ music and creepy theramin sounds when my unsuspecting visitors discover that the nice old man giving them shelter during a terrible Michigan winter storm is, in fact, Nick Leep!!!.

Behind the organ-pipes will be a wall of speakers. The entire wall will be covered with speakers, and the entire wall will be speakers. Speakers.

Why?

Well, a little ways back from the organ-console will be a podium. There will be enough space cleared around this podium for a small orchestra, and provisions for recording them as they play (of course). Next to this podium, of course, will be a guitar stand, for my then-current-favorite guitar. Did I mention that, among the “electronic experiments” will be several partially gutted guitars, in various states of decay or necromancy? I think I did now.

Now, I have one more wall, and I think I’ll use that for instrument storage. Most of it will be, basically, a rip-off of GC’s “wall of guitars.” I’ll have Franken-guitars, Strats, LP’s, SG’s, custom-made… and it will be awesome. Acoustics, electrics, etc. All amplified by my own hand-built, vacuum-tube driven, 10,000-watt amplifiers (which will be hooked up to the wall of speakers). The idea is, I’ll be able to start playing, and they’ll be able to hear from the nearest town. Of course, there’ll also be trumpets, euphonia, tubas, basically every other brass instrument ever (remember, brass kicks …), and any other instrument I’ve ever or will have ever learned. Only one of each for most.

The rest of the lab floorspace will be taken up by a Steinway & Sons 12-foot black concert grand piano.

well, that’s about all I have for that. If I’m forgetting anything, let me know sometime in the next fifty years, please?